I'll Send You a Bill... You Just Pay It - Alabamas13.com WVTM-TV Birmingham, AL

I'll Send You a Bill... You Just Pay It

By By: Mike Royer

A couple quick items before I get to my point. I set a new personal record in the area of gas purchases today. I filled up the old pickup truck with $105.50. It’s a 34-gallon tank, so I think there’s room for yet another record, especially as prices continue to climb. When will someone do something about these gas prices? The answer is sooner than you might think. Stay tuned, as we love to say in this business.

Also, my son’s post-season baseball party was Saturday evening after they lost the season championship game 6-4. Boys were swimming and eating pizza, and I said hello to twin boys around 4 years old who were sitting together eating their pizza. I introduced myself and they told me their names. One of them said, “Hey I think I’ve seen you before.” I said, “Do you watch TV news?” He answered, “We watch NBC13.” Pleased, I said, “Well, maybe you’ve seen me on NBC13 News.” He said, “No, that guy wears a suit.”

Now to my point. I’ve come up with a great moneymaking idea. I think I’ll start charging money for this blog. But, here’s the best part: I’ll charge you something like $5 to read them. Knowing no person in their right mind would pay $5 to read this, I’ve come up with a grand plan. If you don’t read it, I’ll charge you $100. I got this idea from some of the folks on the Jefferson County Commission. They have this idea to pay off their multi-billion dollar sewer debt. Some on the commission think it’s a great idea. They’ll start charging people who aren’t even connected to the sewer system an annual fee. You don’t use the system — tough, you pay anyway.

So, following this logic, I figure I’ll start charging people who don’t read my blogs. I should have thought of this before, and want to thank those folks on the commission, obviously much smarter than me, for such a simple yet ingenious plan. Oh, I just thought of this too: I could start charging people for speaking engagements. I speak to 40 or 50 groups every year, but there must be thousands of groups out there who have meetings and never invite me to speak. I’ll charge them too: $1,000 for not having me speak to your group.

If this takes off like I hope, you may not be seeing me around much longer. I’ll be covered up busy just sending bills out to people who don’t watch me, read my blogs, or invite me to speak. In the meantime, I’m going to think about other things I can charge people for.

Just watch your mail for a bill from the Jefferson County Commission and me. I guess just good leadership has its price too.

See you tonight at 4:30, 5:00, 6:00 and 10:00 p.m.

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